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Thread: the goat feasted on steak tonight.

  1. #1
    Vanilla Gorilla I Am Half Human, Half HTown-DSM.com dantheman's Avatar
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    the goat feasted on steak tonight.

    as many of you might remember, months ago i happened upon a gallardo and broke my shifter on the 1-2 shift.

    tonight i got a chance to redeem myself.

    rowboat productions had a small meet tonight to film some documentaries about animals in the wild. there was a goat some random domestics, a hungry yota etc etc.

    in this wild world we are sitting about conversing about departing to film and we see and hear a bull snort on the mexican feeder road. i turn my attention to the yellow beast and he shifts down 2 times and nails it. this is enough to make the goat roar with anger. so myself and my friend saddle up this mighty goat in pursuit of the bull.

    everyone thought i was crazy and that it was a pipe dream, but i had revenge in my eyes and hate in my soul. we entered the mexican highway and gave pursuit at the tune of 110-120mph sustained. watchful eyes searching for federalies and the low wide tails of an italian bull. after about 5 miles of searching i had almost lost hope, thought to myself my chance at a bull was gone. when what do my exhausted eyes see but the yellow beast mingling in traffic.

    the goat casually crept up next to the bull and let out a mountainous BAAAAHHHHHH with which was greated with a vicious series of snorts as the italian prepped to stretch its legs. the goat also baah'ed again and prepped to stretch its legs on teh big end with the evil italian bull. at 70mph the bull roared to life and the might goat did as well. within a second the bull was almost a carlength ahead of the goat but the goat was not to tolerate this. i shifted mightily into 4th and began what i thought wasnt possible. i began to pull back on the mighty italian. nearing 125 i was at his door and almost past. 4th has some room left so i stuck it out. tapping rev limit in 4th at 143 mph the goat had put a fender infront of the bull.

    both hard on the brakes at that point we then exited the expressway to burritoburg on the enchilada spur. he began his mighty downshifts again puking bits of fire from teh tail pipes as the bull readied to attempt to eat the goat. 45mph, solidly in 2nd gear i pull next to him and he signals that he wants to go.

    honk

    honk

    honk

    both cars roared to life. the sweet sound of the v10 slowly whispered out as the screaming ls1 made its purpose known. it would not go quietly into the night.

    3rd gear arrives and is nailed precisely running strong 2-3 cars ahead of teh lambo when i see reflective car markings ahead. i prayed to the GTO gods that they bless me with devine stopping power and they called upon carbotech the god of friction to slow me from arrest me speeds to "leasurely stroll" speeds showering the lamborghini in a cloud of brake dust.

    we catch a light before heading forward on our own paths. the driver rolled down his window and let me know of the federalie which i was well aware of. then i heard something i didnt think i would hear.

    -"nice car man, that thing rolls out hard"

    i was stunned. i was just complimented by the bull tamer. i responded with

    "you too man, the thing is beautiful, thank you"

    the light turned green and the two beasts parted ways.

    lamborghini 1
    rowgoat 2


    Quote Originally Posted by James92TSi
    what starts with M and ends with oonlanding????? U.S.A. bitch

  2. #2
    brb, lurkin' Noob nick4g63t's Avatar
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    very.
    very.
    nice.

    big congrats on that.

  3. #3
    Tired and Beat Super Saiyan Post Whore rigbender's Avatar
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    Did you manage to record a documentary of the battle of the beasts, O mighty goat tamer?
    [TurbosRFunny] 1:15 pm: Ponch is just about as good as he is online, as he is in bed. Can't get anything to
    work...

  4. #4
    HTown-DSM.com Member I Own Stock In HTown-DSM.com TurbosRFunny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rigbender View Post
    Did you manage to record a documentary of the battle of the beasts, O mighty goat tamer?
    Im with this guy, all this speak of Goatography and Rowboat productions, and documentary's and wet willy's and wild animal sex and no footage FTL.

    I love how you told the story though, i lol'd a few times. Grats on the KILLZOR KEEEEEEE!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Ponch
    This isnt pinks where I need to give you any handicaps. Run what you brung in the 1/4.

  5. #5
    2.1 strokin it Post Junkie DSM Nexus's Avatar
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    Awesome story, you got me all we just reading it. Im glad you got the chance to tame a bull in mexico. Wish I could have seen it.

  6. #6
    The is my Custom Title Super Saiyan Post Whore beezwax's Avatar
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    this story makes me happy in my pants

  7. #7
    Vanilla Gorilla I Am Half Human, Half HTown-DSM.com dantheman's Avatar
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    sadly no it happened so fast we didnt have time to prep with a camera

    Quote Originally Posted by James92TSi
    what starts with M and ends with oonlanding????? U.S.A. bitch

  8. #8
    0-broke in 3.2sec. Post Junkie awdgocart's Avatar
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    great kill Dan and great read!!!!! A+ for you Dan

  9. #9
    Don't be a dingle arm. I Want To Have HTown-DSM.com's Babies James92TSi's Avatar
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    Carbotech, the god of friction...


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    lame.org Super Saiyan Post Whore
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    Simply one word....EPIC!! Gratz.

  11. #11
    F.I.S.T. Racing I Am Half Human, Half HTown-DSM.com Black Majik's Avatar
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    wonderful story. Made me smile a few times and wish I had time to work on my own car for a change.
    ‎"many conservatives are liberals who have been mugged by reality"




  12. #12
    14.57@106 I Want To Have HTown-DSM.com's Babies CornFed1320's Avatar
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    whoa dude u still race?

  13. #13
    teh broken 1 Super Saiyan Post Whore talonturbotsi94's Avatar
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    no vid no care lol nice runs dan. cant wait to get another crack at the goat in about a month

  14. #14
    hired geeks, yea ... Sponsor
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    and the winner for best racing story of the year goes to ... <drumroll> ....

    and its rowboat produstions!

    great story dan, nice kill!

  15. #15
    Tired and Beat Super Saiyan Post Whore rigbender's Avatar
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    I say we make this thread a sticky just for the fantastic story.
    [TurbosRFunny] 1:15 pm: Ponch is just about as good as he is online, as he is in bed. Can't get anything to
    work...

  16. #16
    Beast Mode Post Junkie flipstyledsm22's Avatar
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    I know this is a old thead, but it's new to me!! Awesome story!! This is some creative thinking skills!! You should try to make a low budget movie! I would definitly buy it!!! ROFL, the whole way through!!

    P.S. I think everyone should give a shot at making a racing story like this, but they have to use an actual event, that they actually did. Anyways, BAD FUCKING ASS STORY!!

    Ben
    I'm sorry...did my back hurt your knife?

  17. #17
    HTown-DSM.com Member Lurker Vanessa's Avatar
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    Very well written! Fine holiday fun.

  18. #18
    HTown-DSM.com Member Speed Demon Project90Talon's Avatar
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    Awesome story.... oh, the kill was good too.
    '92 Eagle Talon Tsi AWD Well it was fun while it lasted, thank you Orange County Sheriff
    "The best engine in the world is the vagina, it takes any size piston, its self lubricating, starts with 1 finger, and every 4 weeks does an oil change. It's a pity the ECU is so damn temperamental."

  19. #19
    HTown-DSM.com Member Street Racer lilbacinboy's Avatar
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    in this game of rock paper scissors, rock finally beats paper... sweetness, even for a 3 year old story
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  20. #20
    HTown-DSM.com Member Speed Demon Project90Talon's Avatar
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    damn, I didn't even notice the date. Leave it to a new person trying to get their posts up to resurrect something this old....
    '92 Eagle Talon Tsi AWD Well it was fun while it lasted, thank you Orange County Sheriff
    "The best engine in the world is the vagina, it takes any size piston, its self lubricating, starts with 1 finger, and every 4 weeks does an oil change. It's a pity the ECU is so damn temperamental."

  21. #21
    Vanilla Gorilla I Am Half Human, Half HTown-DSM.com dantheman's Avatar
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    man cant believe this was almost 3 years ago.

    it was a fun night.

    Quote Originally Posted by James92TSi
    what starts with M and ends with oonlanding????? U.S.A. bitch

  22. #22
    HTown-DSM.com Member Lurker Vanessa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Project90Talon View Post
    damn, I didn't even notice the date. Leave it to a new person trying to get their posts up to resurrect something this old....
    New? I've been registered to this site almost 2 years longer than you have

  23. #23
    Turbo Spooler. Lurker MikeyMike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vanessa View Post
    New? I've been registered to this site almost 2 years longer than you have

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    F.I.S.T. Racing I Am Half Human, Half HTown-DSM.com Black Majik's Avatar
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    I'm not sure what just happened here....lol
    ‎"many conservatives are liberals who have been mugged by reality"




  25. #25
    Turbo Spooler. Lurker MikeyMike's Avatar
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    Vanessa posted a comment after I sent her a link to this really old thread today. I told her it was old but it was a sticky so its not like she's bumping a 40 year old thread. Someone said she was a noob trying to get her post count up and she looked at the join dates and concluded he was the noob because she had joined 2 years earlier than him. I posted the heavily thought provoking image and the rest is histttorrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy *deep breath*

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